Tuesday, June 17, 2008
I'm sorry
I've made a lot of mistakes in my life but I don't think I've ever hurt Vern like this. I was selfish and rude. I don't know who I've turned into. I feel horrible and stupid. I can't believe I did what I did. I hate feeling like this. All I can do now is say that I'm sorry for what I did and hope he forgives me.
Thursday, June 5, 2008
What a weekend
The past four days have been a little different for me. It started out great on Friday when me and Les went to our long time school friend Amanda's Bridal/Baccalaureate party. It was a blast!! I miss hanging out with all my high school girlfriends. Well a few drinks later and a call to my mom I was waking up in her spare bedroom early Saturday morning. What a night that was. No hang over by the way.
After an hour I drove myself home to cuddle with Vern and fell back asleep. I woke up at noon to find out that my dad never came home last night and no one had heard from him. My parents have been going through a tuff time lately. They had been in a fight Friday night and my dad just up and left.
I got off the phone with mom and began making brunch burritos. They were awesome!! My brother ended up coming over later and we all hung out. We went bowling with Wes (my brother in law) his girlfriend Natalie and his friend Colt. I sucked as usual and Ryan kicked some butt!! When we got home John, a friend of Vern's, wanted us to head over to Wing Coop and have a bite with him. As well as my mother calling back to say my dad was home and that see was leaving him for good. I stayed strong for her on the phone then cried after. I was hurt and frustrated. I called Leslie to talk to her. She always knows how to call me down and put everything into perspective. At Wing Coop, we watched friend do the 11 challenge. I think I would die if I attempted it. Back home again to watch a movie then headed to bed.
Sunday was hard for me and my brother. My mom called and told me that her and my dad were on their way to pick up Ryan. With the way things were going he was a little nervous and didn't want to go home yet. I think he was a little scared of my dad or he just wanted to be away from all the hurt and anger of my parents. When they got to my house I talked with them. My dad was so hurt he cried with anger and said some rude things. My mom was sad and didn't understand how Ryan was feeling. I think I cried for a good hour after that. My dad had hurt me for no reason. He also blamed me for the way my mom was acting. My mom had said nothing. She had brought me into the middle of their fight and it was hurting me more then they were hurting themselves. I told them that I was done talking about their problems and I didn't want to here it anymore.
Vern couldn't see Ryan and I hurt so he took us swimming. I was fun but kicked my ass. My arms still hurt. I did get some sun though. Back home after that for movies then bed.
Monday was better. My parents apologized to me and Ryan for the way they were acting. Its hard to see them hurt like this. I'm not sure how to handle this. Ryan hides it till he can't any more and Carissa just shows anger as usual. We are all hurting right now and it's just not fair.
I'm just glad the weekend is over. I love my family and I hope we can be happy soon.
After an hour I drove myself home to cuddle with Vern and fell back asleep. I woke up at noon to find out that my dad never came home last night and no one had heard from him. My parents have been going through a tuff time lately. They had been in a fight Friday night and my dad just up and left.
I got off the phone with mom and began making brunch burritos. They were awesome!! My brother ended up coming over later and we all hung out. We went bowling with Wes (my brother in law) his girlfriend Natalie and his friend Colt. I sucked as usual and Ryan kicked some butt!! When we got home John, a friend of Vern's, wanted us to head over to Wing Coop and have a bite with him. As well as my mother calling back to say my dad was home and that see was leaving him for good. I stayed strong for her on the phone then cried after. I was hurt and frustrated. I called Leslie to talk to her. She always knows how to call me down and put everything into perspective. At Wing Coop, we watched friend do the 11 challenge. I think I would die if I attempted it. Back home again to watch a movie then headed to bed.
Sunday was hard for me and my brother. My mom called and told me that her and my dad were on their way to pick up Ryan. With the way things were going he was a little nervous and didn't want to go home yet. I think he was a little scared of my dad or he just wanted to be away from all the hurt and anger of my parents. When they got to my house I talked with them. My dad was so hurt he cried with anger and said some rude things. My mom was sad and didn't understand how Ryan was feeling. I think I cried for a good hour after that. My dad had hurt me for no reason. He also blamed me for the way my mom was acting. My mom had said nothing. She had brought me into the middle of their fight and it was hurting me more then they were hurting themselves. I told them that I was done talking about their problems and I didn't want to here it anymore.
Vern couldn't see Ryan and I hurt so he took us swimming. I was fun but kicked my ass. My arms still hurt. I did get some sun though. Back home after that for movies then bed.
Monday was better. My parents apologized to me and Ryan for the way they were acting. Its hard to see them hurt like this. I'm not sure how to handle this. Ryan hides it till he can't any more and Carissa just shows anger as usual. We are all hurting right now and it's just not fair.
I'm just glad the weekend is over. I love my family and I hope we can be happy soon.
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