The Best Day of the Year

Today Is in my opinion the best day of the year! It's my Birthday and I turned 23 today. It's crazy to think that I'm in my early 20's. I feel old sometimes but that's what being an adult does to you in this world. I'm so young yet I want so many things that are just out of my reach.

These past 23 years have been amazing. I've done so much already and yet I keep adding to the list. I am very thankful for my life and all of those who have been in it and are still in it. I am proud of my accomplishments and I am very excited for those to come!

I hope to graduate collage in the next three years. Its real hard for me to take more then one class at a time right now but I'll make it through. nursing school is going to be real hard but very worth it!

I hope to have children sometime in the next five years. I feel obligated to wait till Vern is ready, even though I've been ready.

I hope to buy a house in the next two years. Our fiances and credit have put us more behind then we hopped.

There are many small things that I hope to accomplish over the years as well.
Traveling over the ocean is going to be accomplished this year. We have to opportunity to go to Hawaii for a vacation in October. Possible by Vern's father.

Life is so great and there is just no time to do everything in it!! I hope my next 23 years are even better then these past years.

I love you all and thanks for making my life worth everything.

My poor baby

So it has come to that time. Zuko my little baby has to have surgery. "No more waiting." Says the Doctor. We have a few weeks to come up with a $1000+ to pay for it. I"m not sure what to do.

Zuko will be a year old next month. His balls have not dropped yet and the Vet fears they will not and will possibly turn cancerous. So Zuzu has to have exploratory surgery to find and remove them. We had hoped to breed him at least once, but won't be able to.

It will be hard to see him suffer the first few days. He'll have to ware one of those cone collars. My poor baby, he's too young for surgery. (sigh)

The Hospital

Last night I was rudely disturbed by my sister at 1:30 am. Only to be informed that my 72 year old grandmother had possibly had a stroke. I rushed up to Davis hospital meeting my parents, my sister, and my aunt. The Doctor did a series of test and found out that she had not had a stroke but had passed out do to heart problems and lack of oxygen. Among other things she is only using 30% of one kidney while the other is not being used at all. So safe to say she is doing all right. I stayed with her at the hospital so everyone else could go home and get some sleep. They hooked up a small heart monitor to her to record her heart and oxygen intake. I took her home around 5 am and stayed with her until 9 am. My aunt checked on her this afternoon and my mother has been there most the evening. Tomorrow we find out what her heart has been doing. Hopefully they can figure something out to better herself.

Sad and Lonely

Some days I have this feeling that I'm loosing out on things, or being left out. I have such a stressed and crazy life right now all I do is worry.

With my family on the fritz I'm constantly working to help fix it. I know I shouldn't worry about helping my parents but that's just who I am. I always help where I'm needed or not. I can't help it. This time there isn't much for me to do but lend an ear or shoulder to cry on. It takes most of my time away from me. I'm neglecting others in my life.

Just this morning I found out that I've been missing out on my best friend Leslie. I haven't talked to her for a while. It's even been longer since I've seen her. We used to do a lot together and now she's found someone else to do things with. I miss her and I want to see her more. Our schedules never seam to be on the same page. I work grave shift and she works a nine to five. On my weekends off she usually has plans with Dustin and Laura or I never have any money. The last time we hung out we all went to the bar together. I had too much to drink but we all had so much fun. I'm always afraid to drink in front of Les now. I'm a very happy drunk. I don't care what people think about me when I'm drunk. I'm loud and crazy. Leslie doesn't really like me like that. But she's the same way when she's drunk. I just miss her so much. I never have anything going on so there's not much to invite her too. But she always seams to be doing something and I feel left out.

I feel so lonely right now sitting here in my bed by myself. Lying awake after Vern went off to work. I hate his work so bad. It caused nothing but pain in my life. Vern doesn't make as many hours as he used to. The constant rising of gas and everything else has put a dramatic drop in his business as a Honda Technician. We never have money for anything. We miss out on a camping trip a few weeks ago. My friend and everyone else went. Why can't I fit everyone into my life the way I want them to be?

My Birthday is in a little over two weeks. I tried to plan a Wendover trip but not many people can make it. Leslie and Ben will be in Minnesota, Dustin and Laura will be gone too. Even Vern might not be able to come. It's just going to be me and Tyrell. That's if I can scrounge up some money to even go. I might as well forget it.

I hate feeling so depressed. I hate how crazy and stressed my life is right now. I need something to do besides sit at home.

A new house

I am so excited. I finally get to move into a nice house. Vern and I went and talked to the couple that are renting out there three bedroom, two and a half bathroom, two car garage town house. It's located just north/west of Jordan Landing. We arranged a security deposit already. We move in during the last week of September. I'm so excited!!! The house is only four years old. There is so much room. The master bed and bath are bigger then most. I get to have my first walk in closet. It's so big I could put a bed in it!!! The neighborhood is great, the people seam nice. The best part we'll be closer to more friends and family. The bad part is I'm going to be farther from my parents and my best friend. It will be a great year!!!